Coaching vs. Therapy: What’s right for you?
In today's ever-changing world, individuals often find themselves seeking guidance and support to navigate life's challenges - especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Two of the best places to start on that journey, if you feel like you need a boost, are coaching and therapy. While they both aim to help people improve their lives, they are distinct in their approaches, goals, and methodologies.
As a dating coach myself, I know there are definitely some key differences between coaching and therapy and its important to recognize when one might be more beneficial for you. Here are some guidelines to help you better understand which option may be more suitable for your specific needs.
Coaching: A Focus on Future Growth
Coaching is a dynamic and goal-oriented process designed to help individuals reach their potential, both personally and professionally. The primary focus of coaching is on the present and future, emphasizing personal development, goal achievement, and self-improvement. Here are some key characteristics of coaching:
Goal-Oriented: Coaches work with clients to identify and achieve specific goals, whether related to career advancement, personal growth, or skill enhancement. Dating coaches specifically help you to figure out what you are looking for in a partner and get hyper-clear on the type of relationship that you’re looking for.
Solution-Focused: Coaching encourages clients to find their own solutions and develop strategies for overcoming obstacles. Personally, in my own coaching environment, I will never tell a client what is right. We talk out each challenge to determine all of the possible solutions. With a full picture of the different paths forward, clients make more informed decisions about their next move.
Accountability: Coaches hold clients accountable for their actions and progress, motivating them to stay on track toward their goals. In coaching, I often use the analogy of a mirror. I help you to look at yourself, your choices and actions and figure out if they align (or not) with your ultimate goals. If they don’t, we work together to figure out the best tweaks to make to help you work toward your goals.
Limited Exploration of the Past: Coaching generally involves minimal exploration of past issues or emotional traumas and instead concentrates on moving forward. While we do look at examples of past relationships to try and discover patterns, we don’t dig deeply into the past.
Typically (but not always) Short-Term: Coaching relationships are often time-limited, with clients and coaches working together for a specific duration. My clients start with a 12 session package and we decide what’s right for each client beyond that.
Therapy: Exploring the Past for Healing
Therapy is a more comprehensive and long-term approach aimed at addressing emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical issues. Therapists work with clients to understand and heal from the past, manage emotional distress, and improve overall mental health and well-being. Here are some key features of therapy:
Past-Focused: Therapy often delves into a client's past experiences, emotions, and traumas to help them gain insight into their current difficulties. For me, my therapy experience dove deeply into my familial relationships and how they might be impacting my present.
Emotional Healing: Therapists assist clients in managing mental health conditions, emotional distress, and unresolved issues. Many people experience varying levels of trauma (lowercase t) and Trauma (capital T) in their lives. Therapy can be particularly helpful in navigating and healing past trauma.
Diagnosis and Treatment: Therapists are trained to diagnose and treat mental health disorders, making therapy the go-to option for individuals facing conditions like depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Mental health is health - many mental health issues are caused by physical differences in our body chemistry. There’s no shame in getting assistance to manage these issues - and therapy, and potentially medication, are some of the best ways to navigate those issues.
Typically (but not always) Long-Term: Therapy can sometimes be short enough for a client to overcome a specific issue. But, many times therapy can be ongoing for months or years. It all depends on a client’s needs. Personally, I don’t go regularly to therapy, but I have a relationship with a wonderful therapist who can always get me in when I am in need of a “tune up” or am going through a challenging time.
What’s Right for You?
The decision between coaching and therapy ultimately depends on your specific needs and goals:
Choose (Dating) Coaching If:
You feel like you’re in an otherwise good place in your life, but find yourself frustrated or in a negative mindset about dating.
You need help with dating skills and tactics - communication, creating connection, etc.
You want a to find some motivation and a more future-oriented, action-focused approach.
Choose Therapy If:
You suspect or are definitely dealing with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues or concerns.
You seek emotional healing and support for past or present traumatic experiences.
You are ready and willing to explore your past to understand your present challenges.
In some cases, individuals may benefit from a combination of coaching and therapy, depending on the circumstances and goals. There have also been times that I recommend potential clients look at therapy before beginning coaching. Every person, their needs and goals are all unique - if you’re thinking about seeking support in the form of therapy or coaching, take some time to reflect on your goals. If you want to get some additional insight - you can also book a discovery call for coaching with Becky to get some further insight!