Mindset is Everything
While Gabby and I continue to celebrate what an amazing time we had at our VERY FIRST event, I’ve been thinking so much about what it means to set yourself up for success while dating. Dating today is hard. Apps are hard. Figuring out someone’s text communication style is hard. Planning dates is hard. It’s hard.
We know. Gabby and I are right there with you and figuring it out. We’ve felt the same frustration, disappointment and roller coaster of emotions.
But, meeting so many of you last weekend…. I realized truly that mindset is everything in this game of love. So many of you SHOWED UP. You didn’t just arrive. You came and you brought it - your hopes, your smiles and your hearts. And despite all of us likely having a little anxiety — WE WERE IN IT. And THAT is the key to dating happily.
The magic of Capital Heart Connection to me is, for the first time ever, I’m finally being unapologetic about being single. I am proud and thinking of it as a way to connect with others. After years of mentally preparing to be asked "why are you still single?” at family gatherings and other social events and feeling defeated as I try to figure out an answer. I DON’T CARE ANYMORE. And neither should you.
Friends, we have GOT to take the pressure off. It’s time to enjoy meeting people, dating and discovering what our real needs and wants are in a relationship. There is no shame in single and in taking Cap Heart Connection public - I faced my fear and, at-times, embarrassment of being single and said “NO MORE.” Heck, Gabby and I really put it out there and shouted out our singledom on the front page of the Times Union.
In embracing being single and happy - and REALLY believing it, I am already looking at dating differently and having way more fun. While we’re so excited for upcoming events, I am also back on dating apps and doing it on my terms. I’m choosing to stop swiping and searching while I’m actively talking to 2-3 people so I can focus on them and not feel overwhelmed. I’m not waiting for them to ask me out - if I’m interested, I ASK THEM OUT. When I go on a date I think “Yay! I GET to go on a date today and meet someone new” instead of “ughh…another date.” I meditate every day and focus on being thankful for the opportunities to meet new people and, if if a date is not a match, I thank the Universe for getting to be one person closer to my person.
Let’s ENJOY it. Let’s be clear about our needs and wants and, let’s have fun along the way. Let’s ditch shame around our dating status and focus on the joy of meeting others. With all of that, I really do feel like the rest will fall into place.
What this does NOT mean is to ignore feelings when things are hard. Dating can still deal you disappointment and it’s OK to feel that fully. But, now you know you have a whole COMMUNITY of awesome friends to help you bounce back, have fun and make new connections. We’re here for you. You’re here for us. And we’re all here for each other.
Cheers to finding all kinds of love this summer.- new romance, new friends and new amazing places to hang out in our lovely Capital Region!